Mr Jiron's Computer Science Site

Interviewer believes the applicant wants a job in a paper factory.

Interviewee has entered the wrong room and is looking for a job in a pet shop.

Interviewee- "Thanks for taking time out of your schedule to meet with me. I know you must be busy."

Interviewer- "Well, I always appreciate a chance to get to know our newcomers before any harsh judgements are reached. Let's start from the beginning." (looks down at the sheet of paper) "It says here you've had previous experience in this industry?"

Interviewee- (confidently) "Yes, I've spent several years on a ranch."

Interviewer- "Ah yes, the mills. They're quite the change from the big city, though. This is no smalltime job you're looking for here. Do you think you'll be ready to fit in here?"

Interviewee- "If I couldn't handle the stress, would I be here today?"

Interviewer- "Yes, you have a point. Let's see, now..." (looks down at the paper again) "What would you consider your biggest strength to be?"

Interviewee- "I've been told I'm very relaxing to be around, and I pride myself on being able to calm down nasty situations without any lasting damage."

Interviewer- "That could be quite useful. And your biggest weakness, you think?"

Interviewee- "Grooming, I think. It's hard for me to keep them still."

Interviewer- (suddenly confused) "Grooming? Keep who still?"

Interviewee- "Well, the cats, mostly. The dogs I've found are much more well behaved."

Interviewer- "I'm not really sure I..." (trails off) "Dogs, I mean. What are you talking about?"

Interviewee- "We're talking about my weaknesses."

Interviewer- "...a... alright? So, uh... Why did you decide to apply with... uh, our firm?"

Interviewee- "I came to visit your store about a year ago for the first time. It was a wonderful experience. Everyone was so friendly and ready to help. And discipline training was so effective! The trainers were masters- I thought, 'I would love to get a chance to work alongside those people'.

Interviewer- "Well, I understand that you might admire our councilers, but you have to understand that your position wouldn't be working side by side with them..."

Interviewee- "Not at first, of coarse, I understand fully. I'm willing to do the work to climb the ladder, you'll see."

Interviewer- "I... suppose, yes." (shuffles paper in confusion) "One final question, I suppose. If you were consulted for one way to improve our firm, what would you change?"

Interviewee- (considers it in silence) "...yes, well... I suppose it would be the cage sizes."

Interviewer- (stunned) "Cage sizes?!"

Interviewee- "Yes, my first impression was that they were far too small. I'd love to really get some space in there to roam around." (suddenly notices the way the Interviewer is staring at them) "...or... no, I understand space is limited and funding for new cages can be hard to get unless the old ones are broken, but-"

Interviewer- "Where is this cage nonsense coming from!? Did your old- don't tell me they made you work in cages back in the mill?!"

Interviewee- "No! No, of coarse, I mean- wait, putting humans in cages? What are you talking about?"

Interviewer- "What am I talking about?! What are you talking about?!"

Interviewee- "I'm talking about the display cages where the pets go to be shown off for adoption!"

Interviewer- "Why on earth would people be adopting pets in a paper factory?!"

Interviewee- "A paper factory? Wait- what room is this? This is room 509, right?"

Interviewer- "This is room 506. Do you mean to tell me that this whole time...?"

Interviewee- (interrupts) "Wait. If the rooms got switched up, do you think your paper factory applicant is...?" (thumbs over shoulder, indicating that they mean the other room)

(Silence. Both stare at one another before rushing off stage.)